


About Nightmares

by Castlewood_Bard



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Dreams and Nightmares, Kissing, Love, M/M, Magic, Magic Revealed, Merlin AU, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24511051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castlewood_Bard/pseuds/Castlewood_Bard
Summary: Merlin needs Arthur to get a good night's sleep for both their sakes.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 256





	About Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! This can be read as a companion to my first one, Secret, or as a stand alone. Enjoy!
> 
> Made an edit in the last few paragraphs;)

Merlin had never seen Arthur this tired. He had circles under his eyes, he couldn’t concentrate, and his mood was more severe every day. It was starting to wear on the nerves, and Arthur refused to tell him what was wrong. The only thing he would say was that he would be better the next day, but that always turned out to be a lie. It was awful for everyone.

“Are you alright,” Uther hissed as Arthur’s head nodded at another meeting. 

Arthur snapped up. “Huh, oh yes I’m fine.” It would have been a lot more convincing if he hadn’t ended the sentence with a yawn.

The rest of the day wasn’t any better.

*** 

That night, as Merlin broached the subject _again_.

“Is anything wrong, Sire?” He didn’t use that term much anymore, not since they were technically dating, but he wanted to see if he could get Arthur to show any form of emotion other than zombie. 

Arthur clenched his jaw. Merlin could always see right through him. Usually, it scared and delighted him all at once, but tonight it was just annoying. “As I said in court today, Merlin, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

Arthur just glared. 

“Would you like Gaius to make a sleeping draught for you? It wouldn’t be as powerful as Morgana’s, but it would give you a good night sleep.”

“No, I’m fine.” 

“That is literally the only thing you have said all day.” Merlin's annoyance was starting to show, but he tried to tamp it down. Arthur was always more open when you weren’t mad at him. 

Arthur sighed. “It’s nothing, Merlin. I’ve just been having… bad dreams, that’s all. I’ll get over it.”

“Are they about something serious?” This confession sent worry streaking through Merlin’s mind. Arthur had never complained about any sort of dreams in the past, especially not ones that kept him up.

“No, it’s _nothing._ ” While Merlin’s concern was touching Arthur really didn’t want him knowing the subject of the dreams. Merlin would never let him hear the end of it.

“Okay, but you need to do something about them if they keep up. You can’t run Camelot if you can’t keep your eyes open.”

“Thank you, _Mer_ lin. That will be all,” Arthur said as he slid into bed, making a point of not looking at him.

“Goodnight, _Arthur_. Sweet dreams.” A pillow smacked him before he had time to duck.

***

Arthur was alone again, with his thoughts. And they sounded a lot like Merlin. Every time he opened his mouth his voice got stuck in Arthur’s head. It was always there, like a catchy tune or something. That must have been why all of Arthur’s dreams had been about him. He saw him all day, so he just stuck around at night, too. 

These weren’t normal dreams, though. They were long and absolutely horrid. Nightmares, plain and simple. He usually had to save Merlin from something, but he always got there too late. There was blood, and shouting, and confusion all around, and he could never get to Merlin in time. He always ended up seeing him… dead.

It took a second for Arthur to realize he had been crying. Just thinking about the dreams sent a wave of dread through him. They were so real. He couldn’t bear to think what he would actually do in a situation like that, but he knew it wouldn’t be good. 

He wiped his cheek and tried to take a steadying breath. It helped a little and he felt his muscles relax. His breathing evened out, and soon he fell into another dream filled sleep. After managing to wake up three times in the next four hours, he gave up again and started looking through the next day's schedule. 

***

Come morning, he was worse than a zombie. Merlin had to haul him from his desk, make his bath cold, and use a little magic to brighten the room.

“Another rough night?” Merlin threw in a smirk to try to get Arthur to acknowledge him.

“Obviously,” Arthur growled from behind his hands. 

“Gaius would be only too happy to make you something, Arthur. You can’t go on like this.” Merlin’s brow furrowed.

Arthur hid a tiny smile. Merlin’s concern always made him feel better, even if it exasperated him to the ends of the earth sometimes.

He brought his head up, trying to look triumphant. “No, it’s fine. Tonight will be different. We’ve got a hard training day, so I’ll sleep like a dog tonight. “

“Unless you do it during training.” Merlin got another pillow to the face.

***

Merlin was right of course. How was Merlin always right? Arthur couldn’t focus on anything, and his eyes kept closing at the most inopportune times. Three knights beat him in under an hour and he couldn’t even remember their names at the moment. After one more defeat he called a break and gave them the rest of the day off. _A reward for a job well done_ he called it, but the knights knew that was a load of rubbish. 

They exchanged glances, but none of them really wanted to challenge Arthur’s temper when he was like this. Slowly, they left the field and went to see if the king had any odd jobs for them to fill the rest of the day. Once they were gone, Arthur stormed off to see if he could catch some shut eye anywhere but his room. 

It didn’t work. He looked everywhere for a comfortable spot, but every time he found one, the dreams came back. It made him want to scream. 

Eventually, he gave up and he met his father for a quick meal. He got a berating about letting the troops slack off. Arthur only heard about half of it. He stood up as soon as Uther was done and sulked to his chamber.

***

Merlin was in his room early that night. “I thought you might want to get to sleep sooner rather than later. Arthur, Arthur!”

Arthur’s head bobbed above a scroll he had been trying to read for the last two days. “Huh? Must have-”

“Nodded off. Yes, it’s becoming a fairly common occurrence. You’ve got to do something about this, Arthur! You’re no use to anyone like this.”

“Fine, fine. You win, Merlin. If I can’t sleep tonight, I will go to Gaius and get something!”

“Okay. Good. That’s all I needed to hear.” Then added, “Do you need anything else, or am I free to leave. Gaius will want me to fetch some supplies before the late night market closes.”

He didn’t want to leave Arthur, but if his plan was to work he had to make sure Arthur thought he was off doing something else.

“You’re excused.” Arthur waved a tired hand in his direction.

Merlin nodded and turned for the door, but thought better of it. He flipped around and gave Arthur a kiss. Arthur blushed a deep red and returned it. 

It never got old, kissing Merlin. They always felt new and comfortable all at the same time.

He smiled, “Thank you, Merlin.”

“For what?”

“Making me feel better.” 

“Ha, knew that would work!”

“Yeah, yeah. Go help Gaius.”

Merlin practically skipped out of the room, but he couldn’t resist giving Arthur one more glance as he left.

***

Arthur’s face fell as soon as Merlin was gone. He threw a dirty look at his bed and tried to get up the courage to go to it. Pacing around the room was all he could manage. Why couldn’t he get these images out of his head? They didn’t feel like a warning or a message, and deep down he knew they weren’t. He needed to stop kidding himself. It had been almost three weeks since he and Merlin had started dating, and the dreams had started around the same time. 

He had never been this comfortable with anyone. They were so close. It scared him. Merlin followed him everywhere, no matter what. For some reason Merlin wasn't afraid of the danger that seemed to follow Arthur's every move. What if he couldn’t get to him in time, or he lost track of him. Arthur knew Merlin wasn't a fighter. These were things he’d been worrying about long before he confessed his feelings for Merlin, but now there was no escaping them.

He stopped pacing and gave his bed another look. He had to try to sleep. Merlin was right. He was of no use to anyone. He flopped on the bed and tried to control his breathing. Soon, exhaustion took over, and so did the dreams. 

***

Merlin waited nearly two hours before he went back in. He wanted to be sure Arthur was at least drifting off before he snuck in to perform a sleeping spell on him. Seeing Arthur miserable was torture for him. This was the only way to ensure he had a good night’s sleep _tonight_. 

As he was crossing to the bed he heard a mumble and froze. He didn’t want Arthur waking up and thinking he was up to something. (Even though he was.) 

“Merlin.”

Merlin winced. Caught! He waited for the inevitable interrogation, but nothing came.

He took a few more steps.

“Merlin.”

Looking up, he realized Arthur was talking in his sleep. Merlin crossed the rest of the room and gazed down at him. He had seen Arthur sleep a hundred times before, but this was different. His face was contorted, and he looked scared. 

“Merlin.” This time Arthur sounded desperate. 

He turned over. His hand was twitching, almost as if he was swinging a sword. 

Merlin stood there stunned. This was what had been keeping Arthur up; nightmares about him. Arthur hadn’t said anything, hadn’t given any indication. Merlin’s eyes welled. He should have seen it. It was his job to protect Arthur from anything, even his own fears. 

“Merlin!” Arthur turned violently in his sleep. 

The movement startled Merlin and he jumped back, hitting the side table. A pitcher clanged to the ground. Arthur shot up and yelled. His eyes were bright, and he looked terrified. 

“MERLIN!” 

***

"Merlin." Arthur’s dream was the worst yet.

 _He was on a swampy battlefield. The air was heavy. It made it hard for him to breathe. His feet stuck in the mud, and he was blinded by the sweat and blood on his face. There was a thick fog rolling in that made it even harder to see. He’d lost track of Merlin, but he could hear him screaming. It came from everywhere_ _and_ _echoed in his head. He_ _had to make sure he didn't fail._ _He had to find him this time._ "Merlin." 

_Drawing his last bit of strength, he pulled his feet out of the mud, wait, it was blood, and trudged toward the sound. It pierced his brain. Everything was distorted. Then he saw it._ _There were bodies all around, but his stood out,_ "Merlin," _laying in the matted grass. His eyes were open, but he wasn’t moving. He had blood covering his face, and a small pool had formed around his head. Arthur rushed to him. Shadowy figures started to gather, but he knew they shouldn’t see Merlin’s body. They would want it for themselves. He would never see him again._ "Merlin!"

 _Arthur drew his sword and started swinging it blindly. They formed a tight circle around him, and the air grew thicker. The sword kept getting heavier with every swing, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t know if his blows were landing. He fought on. The image of Merlin laying on the ground fueled his anger, but he was getting weaker. Someone was coming for him now. A bigger shadow, clearer, loomed just out of sight. They were sneaking up_. Then, everything shattered. A noise rang in his ear, and he sat bolt upright. “MERLIN!” 

***

“Arthur!” The pain in Arthur’s voice made Merlin heart constrict. He took Arthur's hand, but Arthur jerked away. 

“No! Get away! Leave him alone!” 

Arthur flailed wildly. He wasn’t in the dream anymore, but he still felt it. Everything was closed in and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see anything. The room was pitch black and the fog hadn’t left his eyes. But he could hear something, it was soft and calm. He took a shallow breath, and something came into focus. It was Merlin. Here, alive, by his side. Without blood all over him. He was trying to say something, but Arthur was having a hard time focusing. Arthur could see that Merlin was reaching for his hand again, and all he wanted was fall into his arms.

***

Arthur’s body slumped. At first, Merlin was afraid he was going to headbutt him out of fright, but Arthur just went limp. After a second, he realized Arthur was trembling. He had his head buried in Merlin’s shoulder, and Merlin was sure he could feel tears falling on his shirt. 

While Arthur was still looking away, Merlin cast a quick spell to light a candle across the room. He would brush it off later if Arthur asked, but he figured some light would be a good idea.

“Arthur.” The prince’s arms wrapped around him like a vice. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay, I’m right here. It’s okay.”

“You were dead.”

Merlin could barely hear what Arthur had said, his head was buried so deep in his shirt. “What?”

“You died, in the dream, and I couldn’t save you.” Arthur sniffled. He felt utterly powerless.

Merlin turned his head to see Arthur’s expression. What he saw was heartbreak. 

“Arthur, I’m fine. I’m right here.” 

“That's the problem. You put yourself in danger. You follow me all the time,” Arthur snapped. He pulled away slightly, ashamed that he had gotten mad. It was just that the dream was holding on, and Merlin had never been here to see him like this. 

Merlin looked stunned. Arthur had never had a problem with him joining missions.

“Arthur, I know how to handle myself.” His voice was steady, but he felt knocked off balance.

“How can you? You can’t lift a mace, you can’t draw a bow, and you definitely can’t win in a sword fight?” Now Arthur wasn’t even trying to look at Merlin. He hung his head and felt stupid for saying anything at all. Now that he started, though, he couldn’t stop.

Merlin looked down. He had never thought of how he must look to Arthur, but he was right. Merlin _couldn't_ do any of those things; he had magic for that. Arthur didn’t know that, though.

“Would you believe me if I said I have other skills?” 

“You always say that, Merlin, but I never see them. I don’t- I don’t want to lose you.”

Merlin took Arthur’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. His heart was pounding as an idea formed. He had to tell Arthur. The dreams would never stop otherwise. “Scoot over.”

“What?”

“Scoot. I have to tell you something, but I can’t when I’m sitting out in the cold and you’re under the covers.” He gave Arthur a small smile to try to reassure him.

Arthur moved over. He really hoped Merlin had a good excuse. 

Merlin slid under the covers. Arthur looked him dead in the eye and took his hand. 

“What is it, Merlin?”

Merlin stared back into the prince’s eyes. How many times had he dreamt of this. Telling Arthur who he was, what he had done. Now he was just scared. 

What if Arthur rejected him. What if he banished him. What if he never looked at him again, the way he was now. Those big blue eyes, peering at him, hoping he would say something that would make his fears disappear.

He took a deep breath.“Before I do, I have to warn you... it might be hard to hear.”

Arthur smiled. “You’re so dramatic, Merlin.”

“In this case I might actually be underselling it,” Merlin muttered.

“Tell me.”

Merlin was standing on the brink and was about to jump into the abyss. Huh, maybe Arthur was right. He was dramatic.

He took a deep breath. “I have magic. It protects me. It always has.”

Arthur dropped Merlin’s hand and stared at him, mouth agape.

Merlin hung his head. He couldn’t bear to see the look in Arthur’s eyes. Instantly, he regretted his decision. Panic set in. Why had he told him. He hadn’t needed to. He could have done any number of things to get Arthur to settle down. He hadn’t needed to. He really hadn’t.

That was a lie. He had. He had from the moment he got to Camelot. It had been the one thing that he had _always_ needed to do for Arthur, but never could. Until now. He mustered his courage and looked at Arthur.

“What?” was the only thing Arthur could think to say.

“I have magic.” He said it more defiantly this time. He wanted Arthur to understand he wasn’t ashamed of it.

“I could arrest you for saying that.” Arthur’s voice filled with fear. 

“I’m sorry. I never meant to keep it from you so long. I thought you’d figure it out or I’d tell you on accident.” Merlin’s voice broke. Now he was the one crying.

Arthur’s face softened. He knew how much it took for Merlin to say the words, let alone stay there and allow Arthur to take them in. He really looked like he was about to bolt. Arthur looked him up and down, then scooped Merlin toward him. 

Merlin looked at him, startled. 

“You’re not mad?” he sniffled.

“I can’t lose you, Merlin. No matter what.” Arthur’s voice wobbled, but all traces of fear were gone.

There was a sorcerer in his bed, with him, right now. Every fiber of his body rebelled against that, but deep down he knew it was Merlin, his Merlin. He knew he had just woken up sobbing from a dream where he had lost him, and he knew he wouldn’t survive seeing that happen in real life. 

“I wanted to tell you everyday. It hurt not to.”

“I know.” Arthur brushed his hand over Merlin’s cheek. They were both covered in tears, but neither had ever thought the other looked better. 

He leaned closer and kissed Merlin as he had never kissed him before. Long and slow, deep and passionate. 

Merlin kissed back harder. He had been so nervous for so long, and now all those fears were gone. Arthur knew and he didn’t hate him. Merlin was so happy he felt like flying, and suddenly he was. He and Arthur were floating just above the mattress. Merlin gasped and the spell ended. They flopped down. He opened his eyes to see a very bewildered Arthur. 

Merlin blushed. He had never done anything like that before.

“Your eyes.”

“Oh.” Merlin glanced down. He wasn’t sure why he was embarrassed that Arthur saw, but he was.

“They’re marvelous.” 

Merlin beamed. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Arthur’s turn to blush now. He never complimented Merlin like that, but the flash of gold he’d seen had taken his breath away. “Do they always do that? When you... do magic.”

Yeah.”

Arthur hesitated a moment, then asked, “Can you do it again?”

Merlin grinned. Glancing around the room, he saw the pitcher on the floor. He whispered something that Arthur couldn’t quite catch. As he did, his eyes lit up again. Bright gold. The pitcher floated in the air for a minute then fell back on the little table.

At the sound of the clatter, Arthur winced. Merlin had forgotten that was what had woken him from his dream. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It just…caught me off guard.”

“Was it really that bad. Sorry, stupid question.” Merlin rolled his eyes. His brain was all fuzzy. He just couldn’t stop thinking about how well Arthur was taking all this.

“It was, but not anymore. There are other things to think about.”

“Like what.”

Arthur glanced at him, but Merlin couldn’t read his expression. It made Merlin’s heart drop.

“Like… how I’m going to tell my father that I not only have a boyfriend, but that said boyfriend is a sorcerer, and I’m not giving him up for anyone.”

“What! You can’t. Uther would have me killed in a minute.”

Arthur broke into a grin. “Merlin. I was kidding. I’m not doing that. Don’t worry.” His face turned serious after seeing Merlin’s expression. “I would never do that.”

“Then don’t say it. Nearly gave me a heart attack.” Merlin actually did look pale.

“Sorry. I won't kid about it again. I just wanted to see you smile, but, um, bad joke for that.”

“Was it?!” But Merlin couldn’t hide a small laugh that escaped. He chalked it up to Arthur's sleep deprived state. 

Arthur smiled back, but it quickly turned to a yawn.

“Getting tired, Your Highness?” Merlin teased.

“Mm.” Arthur nestled his head into the crook of Merlin’s shoulder and was snoring in a minute. 

“Good. Sleep sound.” Merlin whispered. He nuzzled Arthur’s hair and gave him one last kiss on the head as he too sunk into sleep.

In the corner, the candle faded. Its services were no longer needed.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments appreciated :)


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